Dog-Gone It! Vick Banned

May 28, 2007: Michael Vick got some bad news this Memorial Day. In a statement issued by the commissioner’s office Monday, Vick was suspended for the 2007 season and banned from consideration from the Hall of Fame for gambling on dog fighting. "Following baseball's lead dealing with all-time hits lead Pete Rose we have decided to enact not only a suspension but a lifetime ban from the Hall of Fame on Michael Vick for his deplorable actions relating to gambling."

One of the battle-hardened dogs
found on the premises of Michael
Vick's Virginia estate.

Vick in a statement to the press said that while it won't be easy sitting out the 2007 dog fighting season it will "allow him to focus more time on football and it should also allow him time to deal with his scorching case of herpes"

In an anonymous interview with the commissioner of Canine Combat Association we asked why the harsh step to ban one of the league's biggest stars from the hall of fame was deemed necessary. The commissioner responded "I love Michael Vick like a brother but he needs to learn that this league is about the beauty of the sport of dog fighting and not about making money off of dog fighting. This news story has really hurt the league, I mean shit n****, this is worse than the time I pointed a gun at a 17 year-old in that McDonald's parking lot and the time I got sued by that 17 year old bitch who told me she was 20 combined!" He added that it was also worse than that time he stomped on a Louisville player's leg for no reason as well.

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Vick joins a shockingly long list of members of the dog fighting community to be banned from the hall of fame for gambling. This list includes such high profile members as all time bites leader "Pawless" Joe Jackson and Pete Rose. "Why anyone would want to gamble on the sport of dog fighting is beyond me," said a lawyer representing the CCA. "It's almost as surprising as baseball or football players using steroids, cyclists doping or hockey players sneak attacking black people."

The CCA summed it up by saying “we have to uphold the sanctity and fairness of our sport and gambling jeopardizes the league and its reputation. We review violations on a case-by-case basis and we felt that this incident was well deserving of a ban. Who do you think we are, the NBA?"